How do I tell you?

My angel,

How do I explain to you why mommy and daddy seems to be so sad all the time? How do I tell you why uncle Tim doesn't answer you when you call for him at the door? How do I tell you that you won't be hearing his beloved motorbike through our gates again, or that he won't be there to give you cookies before dinner time, much to mommy's dissaproval. How do I tell you that he won't come running after you when you are going somewhere where you shouldn't and mommy is just too pregnant to run after you herself? How do I tell you that you won't hear his voice calling "Hellloooo" through the house as I am about to put you to sleep, and you get so excited about seeing him that all possibilities of sleep go right out the window?

This is a tough one my angel, and one I was not quite ready to explain to you, because this is the first time mommy had to deal with something like this herself. I think, the best way to explain, is to compare it to life. You know how you were born, not really knowing how you came into this world? Something miraculous, but inexplicable, so many unanswered questions? You'll probably feel the same when your brother arrives. Well, sometimes, just as birth, which we can't explain how or why a person is given to share the love of life, so the same people eventually have to go as well. We don't know when, or why, but they have to go back to the place where they came from. There are many theories to "where" this "place" actually is. Mom and dad believes it is called "Heaven", and your unseen (to some) Father in the sky calls you back to be with Him. It is very sad for the people who are left behind, because to our physical brain it doesn't make sense that someone who was so part of your existence, just isn't there any more. Humans are creatures of habit my angel, and we like for things to remain...predictable. But this is one of the only things that you can be sure of in life...that a person will pass one day. We don't know when or how, but it will happen. So early Sunday morning, uncle Timmy was called home.

It is very sad for us, and that's why you see me and dad cry some times. But the best way to make sure that uncle Tim lives on in our hearts is to remember him for the bubbly person that he was. He always said that you were the reason he became broody and wanted children, so he was extremely fond of you my angel. He had an incomprehensable lust for life that is seldom equaled. He was always there to help us when we were in need, whether it was to give me a lift to the hospital to go visit you when you were born, or just to "borrow" a glass of coke. He even baby-sat you a couple of times when mom was in need. He did all he could to help, when he could. I know the house feels empty without his voice, but remember, he is with us, in memory, in spirit, and through everything he did.

I know it doesn't all make sense right now, and I can't say that it ever will, but know that uncle Tim loved you, you loved him, and that is all that matters.

Love you my only
Mom