The journey started 5 beautiful years ago...

Well my little angel, this is a tribute to mom and dad's little big journey that started 5 years ago when you were just a twinkle in our eyes.

To my hubby: you are absolutely amazing and I love you with all that I have. I know things get tough sometimes, but that is just because both you and I are in the habit of taking on more than the usual, pushing ourselves to the utmost limits. And even though this characteristic may lead to tension because we are both exhausted, it is one of the qualities that I admire most about you. In fact, I am only like that because you inspired me.

I cannot wait to see what the following years hold for us...I've got a feeling it's going to be even more amazing than the past five years...

So to my Weasel, 5 years, 2 beautiful boys, 9 jobs, 6 years of studying 2 homes and about 38 memorable holidays later, here's to us...Love you eternally....

Oh and remember 1+1=3?....Well, looks like it equaled 4, the perfect combination :-)

Here's a little reminder....our wedding song:

Baby, I see this world has made you sad
Some people can be bad
The things they do the things they say

But baby, I'll wipe away those bitter tears
I'll chase away those restless fears
And turn your blue skies into grey

Why worry?
There should be laughter after pain
There should sunshine after rain
These things have always been the same
So why worry now?
Why worry now?

Baby, when I get down I turn to you
And you make sense of what I do
And all the isn't hard is the same

But baby, just when this world seems mean and cold
Our love comes shining red and gold
And all the rest is by the way

Why worry?
There should be laughter after pain
There should sunshine after rain
These things have always been the same
So why worry now?
Why worry now?

Written by Mark Knopfler - Dire Straits

Party time!

Hello my little bumsical!

So we had your party on Saturday and I must say I think you enjoyed it very much! You proceeded to hand out cupcakes to everyone, you swam with dad, and, for most of the party basically entertained yourself (as you do). Oh, lest I forget, you also put on a grand show for anyone willing to listen with Noutjie's guitar, your microphone, and oh so passionate voice. The cakes were awesome and your dinosaur cake even had a volcano! Thank you so much for every one who came to share the day with us, as well as those who sent their wishes! It really made it very special!

Last week granny came to visit and also grampy for a short while. Needless to say, you loved every minute of it. Granny took you for your first day at your new school, the Bedford Montessori, and I must admit, I think this is the perfect place for you! You are learning so much already and your teachers say you are very bright (tell me something I don't know, lol). They also say that they are so relieved to have finally found a singer for the Christmas concert, lol, because apparently that's all you do, whether you are drawing, painting, whatever, there is little Caden Cat signing his heart out :-). Haha, o yes, and every time you come home, you give Noutjie a big hug and say: "Hello my boy, did you miss me?".

And lastly, as a little bonus, this morning Noah woke up very unhappy and not feeling well, so being a little boy he cried and cried and cried. Dad and I did our best to calm him and were losing hope, when suddenly a very sleepy voice came from out of your room shouting: "Ok boy, don't worry, I'm coming!". Dad and I were in hysterics and true as Bob, Noah stop crying when you finally came to his rescue! Definite highlight of the week :-)

Anyway my angel, I love you tons and tons and can't wait to see what you come up with when I come home from work.

Love always.
Mom

No way! Are you 3 already?

Hello my precious precious little man. Well, as you can gather from the title, someone has had a birthday, and now, my tiny tiny little baby is 3 already! I can't believe how the time has flown, and what a stunning little man you have become!

You know, when you were born and lying in ICU, I had these visions of you being a blonde, curly haired little ball of energy(I think God sent those visions for me so that I could know all would be ok). And now I realise those visions were of what you are now, almost exactly! You are such a clever, inquisitive, polite boy and I'm very very proud to be your mommy. Thanks my angel, I could never have dreamt for more!

So, this weekend we went down to Natal because I actually had to work, but luckily, we could swing it so that you reaped some benefit! I arranged that you and dad come with (and Noutjie stayed with ouma), because my job was to arrange our stand for the first WFO enduro! Now, that means you got to see tons and tons of motorbikes, which, I don't need to tell you, you LOVED! You loved it so much that you actually thought Saturday was your birthday and were very surprised when you woke up on Sunday and got presents! Then we went for ice-cream at the Wimpy and took a slow drive back home. So it was chilled, but your party is still coming :-).

Anyway my precious, let me get back to work. Just know that I love you dearly and spending time with you is the most amazing thing I've ever gotten to experience. Every day is just a big blessing when I get back home and you run into my arms. That's actually when my day starts.

Love you plenty
Mom

Prayers for uncle Poen please

Hi everyone,

Can we please ask for urgent prayers for Brendon, Wes's brother (uncle Poen to you my little angel). He's been having severe headaches for the past couple of weeks and earlier this week it became so bad that he finally went to hospital. It seems he has Glaucoma, which means sever pressure on the eye caused by fluid build-up.

He is in a lot of pain, so please please pray that it gets better. They will monitor him for the next couple of days, and if it doesn't improve they will have to operate.

Uncle Poen, we are all here for you, sending all our positive thoughts your way! It will all work out in the end...if it doesn't work out, then it's not the end :-)

Also, please pray for Weasel's parents..this must be an extremely difficult time for them as well.

Love

Yes my little man!

The friendly squirrel coming to visit our picnic site



Picnic at the Rhino and Lion park (or as Wes calls it, the Rion and Lhino park)



Check the leg...



Lions (very close). You went: "Roar...I'm a scary scary lion!"




Taking pictures of the animals




Grant's ktm tent, set up for a rest at our picnic, lol








At Van Gaalens cheese farm, looking at the pigs with Tanya



Playing with your boetie's Christmas guitar - At Kosmosdal Marina Club



Swinging with Grant







Your skateboard - from Grant and Lynette



On the merry-go-round at Upper Deck



Christmas eve...you insisted on going to bed with your new vacuum cleaner :-)



So tired after Christmas lunch!



Justin teaching you to ride your bike



Your master piece! (I just added the lights)



You just love riding on your dad's bike



Christmas morning surprise! You were elated! We had cookies and milk for Father Christmas, and a wish list (you "drew" a bicycle). What an awesome memory!



Hey my fatty,

What an adorable little man you are and this holiday was just awesome being around you. We went for your first movie, Megamind in 3D. I was so impressed, you lasted an entire hour! You sat there with your 3D glasses, on your own chair, popcorn between your legs asking me every now and then: "Mommy, please put C-beebees on, ha ha!

The whole holiday, dad taught you to ask Father Christmas for a bicycle, so when it finally arrived on Christmas morning, you were elated! You are totally taken with the whole Christmas theme, loving the lights (actually going into mini-histerics) and the decorations. You actually did our entire Christmas tree yourself! The only comment I have is that a person can see you are short, because all the decorations are at the bottom, ha ha. But other than that, it's a beautiful masterpiece!

You also got spoilt rotten by those who love you: skateboard, drumset, toolset, clock, vacuum cleaner (yes you LOVE the vacuum cleaner and finally got your own), toy cars and so the list goes on. Thanks everyone who treated our little man. We're so blessed to have such great people in our lives! And the time you spent with us means more than anything!

So what else? You are in a running/jumping phase, looking like a little Mario-brother when you run, he he. You always go, "on your marks, get set" and then you're off. Also, when you play your little drum, you first hit the sticks together and ask "Are you ready?". So cute. When responding to things like: "Do you love me?" it's mostly preceded by a "of course", so it goes: "of course I do" or "of course I can" etc.

You are also in a "Noddy" phase, so everything has to be either Noddy or Spiderman (ugh). And you can tell serious stories, espescially about Goldilocks and the three bears...You start off: "Once upon a time, there were three bears, mommy bear, daddy bear, Caden bear and Noutjie bear (which in the picture is a soft toy that baby bear is holding)." So three became four, but none-the-less, you love it!

I am so excited, because come end of February you are enrolled to go the Bedfordview Montessori, yay! It looks like such a stunning school! I can't wait to see how you develop and blossom!

Oh yes, we are moving in three weeks, to Bedfordview, which is about 1minute away from dad's work. I'm sure you'll love it there, but for me it's a bit scary. I've lived in this house for most of my life, and all our friends are here, ouma is right next door, and everything is so, well, comfortable and established! They say a change is as good as a holiday, well, let's see. At least the new place has a VERY big garden, which you'll love!

Anyway my angel, I love you so much. I know there's about a million things that I'm leaving out, but the core is: You are becoming very cute and very clever.

Love you plenty my boudjies!
Mom

An update...finally

Hello my beautiful boy!

Yes, again, I'm sorry for not writing in such a long time! But it was that time of the year again, yes exams. And directly after that I went to Cape Town for some work. And directly after that, dad and I went to Hazyview for Yolandi and Gerrie's wedding. So not only have I not written in a looooong while, but I also haven't seen you much, and wow, how have I missed you!!!

You went to stay with granny while I was writing exams and just as you came back I had to leave again. It feels like you've grown up so much! You are such a beautiful little mister now, telling me: "Nee, ek kan nie" when I ask you to do something that you don't want to, he he. You also got a microphone from ouma Rina, and my how you sing! Sometimes even without the mic, you just close your eyes, tap your little foot, and sing whatever comes to your mind, yes improvising at age two!

Oh, and dad brought you a HUGE trampoline! You just jump jump jump and it is the cutest thing ever! I LOVE the way you take toys from Noah and tell him: "No Noutjie, not yours, this is mine", even though I know I should teach you to share, you just tell him so nicely that it's yours, ha ha, I can't get it over my heart!

Anyway my angel, I love you plenty and I cannot wait for the next couple of "holiday" weeks where I can just come home and the only thing on my "to-do-list" is to play with you and your boetie.

I love you monkey man.
O yes, and guess who is FULLY potty-trained! Well done big boy! (I must admit, I am waiting for the day that you decide to wee on the grass in a public place, as it seems like as soon as you see grass, you think that that's what you HAVE do :-)

LOVE YOU!
Mom

Reduced to tears....

Hello my precious angel,

Last night we watched a programme, Private Practice, which is about a couple of doctors, of which one is a neo-natal surgeon. Anyway, in this episode a mommy-to-be went into labour unexpectedly at 25 and a bit weeks. They also couldn't stop the contractions and the baby was born.

Now, it was quite heartbreaking, because the little one had bleeding on the brain and problems with his intestines and he had to have a lot of operations. The doctor did one operation and couldn't fix the intestines. What was most disturbing, was that the doctor basically told them that the little baby boy, even if he survived, had no chance of a "normal" life. He would probably have brain damage, be blind and so the list continued. Her suggestion to the parents was to just let him go as he was in a lot of pain. The mommy could also not hold the little boy, just like we couldn't hold you at first, because he was just too tiny. So the episode ended with the doctor placing the baby in her arms for her to hold, and she just sang to him.

Now, it was difficult for me to decide whether or not I should even write about this, as it is not the run-of-the-mill, happy post. But I just had to share some thoughts with you because I want you to know all the things that I felt while raising you, especially so that you can maybe read them one day. That's the whole point of this blog. So I am going to start on my feelings of last night, now that you have the background story.

Firstly, you were lying on the couch with me, and I actually thought you were sleeping. But when they showed the tiny little baby with all those pipes and needles, you turned around to me and said "Nee mamma" and then just laid on my chest with your eyes closed, and eventually you did fall asleep. Now I don't quite know what to make of that. Can you actually remember your time alone in ICU? Or was it just coincidence? Either way, it immediately reduced me to tears.

Secondly, I couldn't believe the physical pain I felt when I saw the mom staring at her little boy, being completely helpless, and not being able to hold or comfort that little little person, whom you love so dearly already. My heart physically ached and my stomach was in complete knots. I remember at the time of your birth being very optimistic and not understanding why everybody was so scared. But I didn't know the lasting impact it would have on me though. And now, every time when I see a prem baby and I burst into tears, it is becoming clear that it did, indeed, impact me severely. When another doctor on tv also told the mommy that the baby can feel his mommy's love, I was immediately taken back to those nights that I read poems to you, and just sat there, visualising all my love and positive thoughts streaming to you in a big red beam. I can also vividly remember seeing God put His hands on your tiny little body and smiling at me, assuring me it was going to be ok.

Thirdly. I don't think I quite understood the risks, and maybe that was for the best. That little baby, who nothing could be done for, who had no chance of a normal life, was born a mere 2 weeks before you. 2 WEEKS! That's nothing. That is so so close...and apparently, even 27 weeks was very touch and go...

And lastly, I found myself being so angry with that doctor, telling the parents to just let him go. Miracles happen every day, and even if he didn't have a so called "normal" life, shouldn't he at least be given a chance? It reminds me of my friend Loren who usually says that she doesn't understand society's obsession with being "normal" and "perfect". I also very clearly remember thinking when you were born: "I absolutely couldn't care what is wrong with you, as long as you survive and I have the chance to love you, no matter what." I suppose each to their own and everybody has their own opinions, and that's their right. This is merely my opinion.

Well, that's enough ranting and raving from me. Just know that I love you, and you are my miracle, and I thank God everyday that He gave me the chance to love you...

Granny Grey - In loving memory

Hello my angel,

It is with a sore heart that I have to tell you that Granny Grey has gone up to be with God in heaven. We are all His children, and as such, He sometimes likes to call some of us home to Him. It is not a sad thing at all, especially for the person who gets to see Him again, we just have difficulty here on earth coming to terms with it. So unfortunately, for now, you won;t be able to see Granny Grey again, but you will still feel her, especially when you need advice, and you can still talk to her because she will definitely listen. For now, however, she is with Grampy Grey in the sky and they will wait there till we all join them one day. I know it's difficult to understand now, and I cannot truly say any of that will change, as none of us can ever really understand it. Just remember to say a prayer for granny, aunty Nettie and uncle Trevor, as well as your daddy, and everyone who is really going to miss her.

Love you my angel and Love you granny Grey. We take lots of comfort in knowing that you will now be our loving gaurdian angel who will keep us safe from harm and help us on the right path.

P.s. So strange that the verse of the day that my cousin sent to me was: “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.”- Psalm 27:14

Prayers for Granny Grey

Hello my angel,

You remember what I told you about closing your eyes and talking to God? That's the conversation we usually end with "Amen". Well will you, and everyone who reads this please,join me in saying a very special prayer for Granny Grey who fell and broke her hip last week, as well as suffering a heart-attack on Friday night. Here goes:

"Dear Lord, please be with our Granny Grey during this trying time. I know she's feeling very ill, so please numb her from any pain she's in. Please let her know in her heart how much we love her and even though we can't be right there by her, that we are with her in spirit all the way. Please also be with granny, aunty Nettie and uncle Trevor so that their wings can be strong in supporting granny Grey. May we always rest in the knowledge that You know what is best and that Your love for us is endless. Always and always. Amen."

You really are a hooligan

Hello my big boy,

Well, did I see a side of you this weekend that I did not know existed!!! We were in "the bush" this weekend for Oom Koevoet's 60th birthday (Happy Birthday!!!).

There were rocks and splash-pools and all sorts of fun things. Now if I say you were a real "boskind", I mean it. You were naked most of the time (with lots of sunscrean) and just running around like a crazy person, laughing and exploring with dad...it was the most beautiful thing ever. You saw a real frog (which you were too scared to touch) and a crab, and touched a lot of dead insects! You were my biggest fan when I went down the foefie-slide (a wheeeeee, according to you), clapping and cheering all the way!

I loved seeing you take in every moment of fresh air, especially after the total mishap of a beach holiday we tried to have, lol. So we finally have the answer...you are not a beach-bum, you are a boskind.

O, and you finally started potty-training...my oh my do I have stories, none of which are really appropriate for publication, lol (I'll reveal all at your 21st :-)).

Anyway my angel, I'm so glad you got to enjoy this long weekend to the fullest and that we got to spend some time together...I'm already missing you sooooo much!

To end of with, here's something Ohpaw sent to me, written by Brad Anderson and adapted by Ohpaw, these are pretty much my feelings as you are growing up so quickly...

I guess that I can hold you
one more time before you grow.
And tell you that I love you
so that you'll always know.
Please let me tie your shoe again.
One day you'll tie your own.
And when you think back to this time
I hope it's love I've shown.
Can I help you put your coat on?
Can I please cut up your meat?
Can I pull you in the wagon?
Can I pick you out a treat?
One day you might just care for me,
so let me care for you.
I want to be a part of
everything you do.
Tonight could I wash your hair?
Can I put toys in the bath?
Can I help you count your small ten toes
before I teach you math?
Before you join a cricket team
can I throw you one more ball?
And one more time can I stand near
to make sure you don't fall?
Let's take another space-ship ride
Up to the Planet Zoor.
Before our Cardboard Rocket
doesn't fit us anymore.
Please let me help you up the hill.
while you're still too small to climb.
And let me read you stories
while you're young and have the time.
I know the day will come
when you will do these things alone.
Will you recall the shoulder rides
and all the balls we've thrown?
I want you to grow stronger
than your Dad could ever be.
And when you find success
there will be no soul more proud than me.
So will you let me carry you?
One day you'll walk alone.
I cannot bear to miss one day
from now until you've grown.

Love you plenty!

You seem happier

Hi my precious,

I'm sneaking a few minutes in work time to quickly write a little update. First, I took you out of school about a month ago, because it just seemed like you weren't getting use to the teacher. Now I don't know if the fact that your little brother got to stay at home had anything to do with it, but nonetheless, you seem much happier and Rose is now looking after you and your brother full time while Elsie does the cleaning.

Second, you had a bad bout of stomatitis that just passed = small sores in the mouth. I felt sooooo sorry for you, but you got over it unscathed, thank goodness.

Third, I started a new job and am now away from home a bit more, but it makes our weekends AWESOME!!! Now I treasure every minute I have with you and we make the best of it!

I'm so sorry my angel, but I have to go. Just know that I love you unconditionally and not a day goes by that I am not amazed by something stunning that you do!

I LOVE YOU!!!

When you thought I wasn't looking

Hey my angel, a friend sent this to me and it almost brought tears to my eyes, so I wanted to share it with you.

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING

A message every adult should read because children
are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a
stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind
to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my
favourite cake for me, and I learned that the little
things can be the special things in life..

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a
prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always
talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a
meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I
learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care
of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have
to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you
handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't
feel good, and I learned that I would have to be
responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come
from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things
hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you
cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of
life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and
productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and
wanted to say,’ Thanks for all the things I saw when
you thought I wasn't looking'

Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, friend)
influences the life of a child.

Now, I know I'm not perfect, and I definitely know that I have a lot of habits that need to change (one in particular, lol) before you pick them up. But this made me realise, despite all the stuff that I do wrong, at least I can know I have a pure heart and that I try to be a good person. And as long as you know that a heart full of love is a good one, then no matter what you do, or what mistakes you make, you will be able to rest in the comfort of knowing you had good intentions.

On another note, we starting praying together at night, me and you, just before you go to bed. I just LOVE how you say "Amen", and surprisingly, you don't interrupt mewith twinkle star or some other song, you just keep quiet and liste,like you know. I waited until now because I want you to comprehend, and even though I don't think you do quite 100% yet, the seeds are being sewn. This is truly one of my highlights, and I love being able to share something that is usually so intimate with you.

Anyway my angel, love you lots and lots. You are my beautiful little star and you are growing into an amazing little man!

Love you dearly!
Mom

Happy Birthday!!!

To the best father and husband in the world: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
We hope that you have a wonderful day and year ahead.

Love you lots and lots!!!

Happy too you!

Well my little angel, as you would say to ohpaw Zak: Happy too you!!!

Hoop paw het 'n wonderlike dag en onthou: We LOVE you more!!!!
Dankie altyd vir paw se wyse woorde en mooi gedigte, dankie dat paw die "kreatiewe" kant van die lewe daarstel, sodat my seuns dit kan leer. Dankie vir paw se liefde vir musiek wat ek kan oordra na my kinders toe en 'n "ritueel" van soorte kan skep. Lief pa ongelooflik! En soos Caden sal se: Wuf you oupa!

Our family - by Loren Stow